When you get married and take your vows, it goes something like this. I take you to be my lawful wife/husband/partner, to have and to hold, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, until death do us part. It does say for richer or poorer, but unfortunately many couples across America just don’t spend time discussing money.  More often than not today, I see separate accounts, unmerged finances, and she pays this and I pay that.

I’ve been married for over sixteen years, and while I am the one that predominately handles the money, there is nothing hidden in our financial relationship.  The more secretive and separate things are in a financial relationship, the worse it always turns out to be whether it be your household or in business partnership. I have the same kind of relationship with my business partner.

It’s true that each partner needs to have some independence, so it is very easy to set up some individual checking accounts (or expense accounts) so each person has some freedom to do some of the small things they want to do on a month to month basis. However, when you merge together and get married, it is truly important to set the guidelines of how you will handle your money from a household perspective.

Money is such an integral part of our lives, that good, bad, or indifferent not having these conversations can lead to a ton of stress especially in a spender/saver relationship. You don’t want to become resentful every time a new purchase is made, but rather feel good about the direction of the finances in your family.

Take some time to discuss first and foremost how much you need to save to reach your joint goals.  There will be much less friction if you get your savings done up front. Agree on who is going to pay the bills. I have always found it best if one person takes charge of paying the monthly bills.  Decide how you will communicate about your money.  Last, make sure there is a way to access easily all of your joint accounts (with the exception of those little individual checking accounts) so there doesn’t seem to be anything sneaky going on with your money.

Since we all had different childhoods and money experiences, our attitudes about money and what it means will always be different person to person.  When you take those vows, you would obviously love it the richer comment becomes your outcome versus the poorer. What is true in my opinion is the couples that discuss and share their finances have a much better chance of financial independence than those that don’t discuss the subject at all.

oXYGen Financial, Inc. co-CEO Ted Jenkin  is one of the foremost knowledgeable professionals in giving financial advice to the X and Y Generation.

Ted Jenkin, CFP®, AAMS®, AWMA®, CRPC®, CMFC®, CRPS®
Co-CEO and Founder oXYGen Financial, Inc.
Request a FREE consultation: www.oxygenfinancial.net

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TED JENKIN IS SECURITIES LICENSED THROUGH INVESTACORP, INC. A REGISTERED BROKER/DEALER MEMBER FINRA, SIPC.  ADVISORY SERVICES OFFERED THROUGH INVESTACORP ADVISORY SERVICES, INC. A SEC REGISTERED INVESTMENT ADVISORY FIRM. Linked sites are strictly provided as a courtesy. Investacorp, Inc., and its affiliates, do not guarantee, approve nor endorse the information or products available at these sites nor do links indicate any association with or endorsement of the linked sites by Investacorp, Inc. and its affiliates.