The New York Stock Exchange isn’t closed often during the course of a calendar year. New Year’s Day, Martin Luther King Day, Washington’s Birthday, Good Friday, Memorial Day, 4th Of July, Labor Day, Thanksgiving, and Christmas in case you were wondering or wanted to mark it on your calendar. As I glanced through all of the holidays during the course of the year, I was reminded about how Hallmark and American Greetings must have been in a war room together to see how many more ‘special days’ they could add to the calendar so Americans will buy more cards and gifts.
I’m all for celebrating something important, but this special day and special month deal is absolutely out of control. I’m not sure whether we are out of months of the year yet, but here are just a few ‘special days’ on the calendar as a reminder of the heightened level of idiocy we’ve attained by making sure every group is remembered throughout the year.
- March 30th – National Doctors’ Day- Not sure where this one slipped into the mix. Perhaps on this day we can disseminate greeting cards that explain the details of co-pays and deductibles as we are all still really confused on the explanation of benefits statements we get in the mail.
- April 23rd- Administrative Professionals Day- I’ve been lobbying for years since I saw this one to add the mid manager at Denny’s day to the list on April 27th. Hallmark has to validate my important recommendation. You should be appreciating your hard working administrative staff every day!
- May 6th- National Nurses Day- It’s not a well known fact, but nurses drink three times the amount of margaritas than the average American, so they cunningly planned their day right after Cinco de Mayo.
- June 14th- Flag Day- Don’t we have the 4th of July right after this? As a ritual, I typically fly the Conch Republic flag on my mailbox and call the Coast Guard to see if they are ready to pick a fight again sometime soon. I am the southernmost point on the map in my development if it’s any consolation.
- August 5th- Sister’s Day- Did I miss the brother’s day on the calendar? I couldn’t find it. Since August 4th is friendship day do sisters celebrate both of these back to back?
- September 7th- Grandparent’s Day- As a new treat this year, Grandparents around the world have decided to let you go home and rummage through all the closets to find out which belongings you want to take now. Oh yeah, and they get to take of your kids on this day as well.
- October 18th- Sweetest Day- I really don’t even know what to make of this one. Perhaps it is a make up day if you totally blew it on Valentine ’s Day so you can redeem yourself. If that’s not it, then I’m sure an all you can eat fest at Cold Stone Creamery will do it.
You can easily understand by reading some of these why we are running out special days in the calendar. Next up for all of us parents is when Hallmark creates chidlren’s day, but then again isn’t every day children’s day? For the time being check out a more complete list and feel free to come up with one of your own before they are all taken!!
Written by:
Ted Jenkin
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